A much needed reminder...

You know those days when you just feel very aware of all of your imperfections? When you feel like if you make one more mistake that day, you might just hit your head against a wall? Yeah…I have these days sometimes. For example, when I make 50 copies (front and back) for another teacher, only to realize once it’s finished that I somehow managed to do it upside down.  This may not sound like a real problem but when your copy machine takes 30 seconds for each copy and paper is about as hard to come by as an honest man, it’s a big deal.  Or when I laminate 20 sheets of paper with words for flash cards and have this idea to put two pieces of paper in the laminate sheet so that it’s not see-through when we play games with the flashcards (ie, memory and go fish) only to later realize that when you cut the paper, they will come apart because the paper is only held together by the laminated edges and when those are gone, there is nothing to hold them together. So I had to cut 200 flash cards and then glue each of them together.  Super fun use of my time! These are just a couple examples of the silly things that I do on a daily basis that make me think, how am I so….well, I won’t say dumb, but just not very bright, sometimes??? Its days like that I have to remind myself that my patience, while still very much a work in progress, has to be extended to myself. I think sometimes being patient with ourselves can be one of the hardest things.  It’s easy to be patient with other peoples imperfections, but with ourselves we see the worst and tend to be our hardest critics.  I’m also very aware of this with my Samoan skills.  I get frustrated with myself pretty much on a daily basis when I can’t understand something, but I always overlook how much I can and do understand after only 5 months.  Anyways, the point is this- Samoa has made me very aware of the many things that I need to work on in my life and has made me want to be a better person, but it has also made me realize that sometimes we just need to be patient and kind to ourselves and say “you know what, yeah I’m not perfect but I’m trying to get better.” 

In other news, school is still going very well. I have kind of realized I’m spreading myself a little thin with all 5 of my classes. The way the school schedule is, I can only meet twice a week with all of my kids and the lessons are only thirty minutes long.  And then with having 5 classes, it’s hard to give really specific attention after school so it generally just ends up being me reading with whatever students are there that day. My PC job description says that I will work with years 4-6 and then help out co-teaching as time permits (like once a week, or so).  But when I talked to my vice principal and SRO (kind of like a super intending) they said they thought it would be nice if I could work with years 7 and 8, so I have been doing that since the beginning. But I think next term (which is in 4 weeks, how crazy fast is time flying???) I will work with years 4-6 3 times a week, dividing each class into 3 groups of 5-6 students.  That a way I can give the students more individualized attention and make my lessons more specifically suited for the needs of each student in the group. I’m going to try and see if I can take out groups from years 7 and 8 on Fridays, but that’s a hard day because it’s mostly just for singing and playing.  However, I am going to have 2 days a week dedicated to years 7 and 8 in the after school program, so that they can come and I will just work with them on their reading without the distractions of all of the other 50 kids that usually come.  Sorry if this is boring, I never know how much people care to hear about the specifics of the job. But anyways, that’s pretty much all the news about school.  It’s still good. I taught myself how to change the toner in the copy machine today, I felt pretty cool.  The kids still seem to enjoy my classes and I haven’t had many behavior problems which is nice.  I give stickers for good behavior and take away stickers for bad behavior, so my most common used Samoan phrase, besides Sole! and Kaukaulaikiki! (cheeky!), is “ave ese lau sticka” or “I’m gonna take away your sticker!”   But honestly the kids really are very well behaved during my lessons, which I am very grateful for.  I feel like I have been very blessed with my school situation, it’s pretty stress and drama free, which is nice since I spend all of my time at school when I’m not playing volleyball.

Random thought for the blog, my little 12 year old host brother drove me to school in my family’s 16 passenger van one morning because it was raining so hard.  We picked up about ten other kids on the way to school.  I was very aware that this was something that would never happen in the states, given, you know, the laws and stuff.